A11 yOu WaNt tO KnOw AbOuT ShOkOklddO

My Final "Decision"

2006-03-11T15:10:00.000-08:00

Tonight might be the last night I will be hanging around with those friends.
Tonight after the incident, i told them they are still my friends. But tommorrow onwards, i not sure whether they still deserves to be my friends.

I already make myself clear to them that I do not wan to talk about this incident anymore.

After this incident, I had learnt that:

There is already no issue about right or wrong anymore. Everyone has its own thought and opinions. They could choose to follow those beliefs and I could not stop them. I might be one right and as well the one in the wrong.
You can say me childish or what. But at this period of time, I will not care about this anymore.
Because it actually happened in few years back, when they abandoned me and side with their closer friends. I actually wanted to give up those friendships at that period, but I held on till tonight. And I finally give it up now.

I actually cried for quite a long time just now, actually I am not in pain, just because I had to give up those friendship I been held on for years.
Why should I still hold on tight to these friendships whereby they did not respect me at all. For these past few years, I let them make fun of me, I let them do or say anything about me if it makes them happy.

They were the one who always choose to side with their closer friends in fact they forget the right way of handle the problems itself. They did not stop the ones who are performing the wrong procedure but in fact, they actually asked the one who was standing there to obey that stupid procedure and shut up.

Then why should I choose to go back to them whom they don’t even deserve me to call them friends anymore.

My last piece of words, there are still a few friends who are still deserved to be called "friend".

"Mahjong"! Here i come.

2006-03-02T12:36:00.000-08:00

The second night which is also my last night there, we went to a famous prata shop, “Mr Prata” recommended by Fairuz to have our dinner and supper together there. When we have our stomach full, we went back to Changi Village and disturbed the trans. If the Trans did not open their mouth and starting talking, they were a lot sexier and prettier than the normal girls. Their real identify will be figured out by their deep and low voice, which would really disgusted me off. Their height, strong build and big bones with artificial breasts was also the key figures for the fake identify.
Eish and I together had also learnt to play mahjong in just a few hours. In the past, I had tried a few attempts playing mahjong, but never bothered to remember the rules and regulations of the game. But this time, I really make a effort to master this game. At first, we were playing it without any money. But later on, when we were familiar and get the hang of it. The guys suggested playing a small amount of stake. I was really worried about losing every game as I was not really good in it. But under the supervisor of Alvin, together we won the first straight few games and following parts in the game. I must really owe my winnings to that girl and Wei Xiong as they were the one always contributing the winning tiles to me. The girl went home early as her parents come to fetch her home. Meanwhile, her parents suddenly come to our chalet like having a spot check on us. Their looks on the face seemed to condemn us to be a bunch of hooligans misleading her daughter. Alvin took over the girl’s seat and we continued our game till we went home earlier than the rest by Wei Xiong’s car.
I find the mahjong quite fun and addicted. The reason could be because I was like winning in some of the games. If I was losing in all the games, I might get frustrated and starting cursing the game. But luckily, lady luck was with me and having Alvin as my tutor.

"First" time to Old Changi Hospital

2006-03-02T12:31:00.000-08:00

Just finish designing the poster to be used for the project show, racking my brain thinking of the design and contents for the poster. Why must my project be selected for the project show? Next week, had to go back to school for that stupid events. I guess it must be a punishment for being too slacking at home.
It had been ages since I had went to a chalet being organized by my previous secondary school mates though I always see them during the soccer game on Friday night.
The first night there, together with the guys, we were watching dvd and listening to the loud music. We even went to the Old Changi Hospital and it was my first time visiting there. At first, I was quite a bit scared and worried because of the past rumors heard from my friends who been there before. But meanwhile, I was also excited and curious about it. Stepping into the hospital gave me quite a chilling and eerie experience as I did not know what lies inside. But later on, I felt quite comfortable and hoping to see something interesting and unusual. Sometimes at those old building or late at night, I would felt something chill and weird which made my hairs stand. But inside OCH, I did not have much of those feelings. The reason could be because we had a total of 10 persons, 9 boys and 1 girl stick together and walk as a team. But that one girl was also the one who always give us a scare, screaming once a while and freaking behind us. Sometimes, she would also suddenly grab one of us or accidentally stepped on our feet.
What really amaze me are the architectures of the hospital, it is big, well facilitates, but also complicated like a big maze. Many buildings either on downhill or uphill are being linked up together like a long passage way. If I was there alone, guess I would be freaking scared and lost my way in the big maze, crying for help. The scariest place nominated by many of us would be the guard’s room. It was dark inside and the old wooden door was being locked up by the rusty metal chains. It was also the last place we had visited.
When we are back to our chalet, the guys were drinking to their heart’s contents. Most of them were already drunk and restless. But upon hearing the RNB music, they were alive again and started dancing among themselves. The funniest part is that we started to play the “Musical Chair”. They started dancing when the music is played, started banging each other to find a way back to the chair when the music is stopped. The whole scene is being recorded in the video. When I looked back on the video, those guys will like having ghost’s obsession, moving in a circle under the dim light.

The "First"

2006-02-16T10:36:00.000-08:00

It is Year 2006 and it shall be the first time I update my blog in this New Year. Last year, I had painful and unhappy experiences. I shall hope this New Year will clean away all my bad experiences and vanished together with Last Year..
This semester will also mark my last year in my poly life. What I had been doing this year was doing project and doing project again. Finally as I thought my entire projects had vanished together with the time. A one and only ENMM exam on next week and I will be going to be a free man soon. E.N.M.M. What a jerk! What must I learn programming at this period of time? If I was asked to design some stuffs, it will be just fine for me. Another big issue pop out, I just prayed that my project won’t be selected for the project show or you can see me rushing project in my school lab everyday again even though on holiday.
I wondered should I be excited as I am going to enjoy my holiday and slack for a long time or worried about my future ahead. Soon, I will be facing a tough life of a true man, where every man has to go through it called “National Service”. Am I going to suffer or enjoy my life inside the camp, will it be like a “Prison” or a “Chalet”? So many questions are floating right across my mind. I think I will just put it aside first and continue being a carefree person for the moment. I will just wait for that fucking boat to reach the shore, and then decided of what to do later.
I had been taught a lot by my past experiences. Thought it may seem painful and unbearable, I will try to reflect back and learnt from my mistake. I going to control my life from now onwards.
"Don't waste your time loving someone who isn't willing to love you."
"If your love does not work with that person, it just means that someone else loves you more."
"Some people believe that holding on and hanging in there are signs of strength. However, there are times in life in which it takes much more strength to just let go."
I think I will just let go of something that I had been hold on tightly for many years.
I believed I will live more happily from now on.

2005-12-24T02:43:00.000-08:00

3 X Convicts

2005-12-24T02:42:00.001-08:00

What is Alan Doing?

2005-12-24T02:42:00.000-08:00

I Am So Short

2005-12-24T02:41:00.000-08:00

What is Jomel Doing?

2005-12-24T02:35:00.001-08:00

Let ^5

2005-12-24T02:35:00.000-08:00

Edmund, Cai Wen, ShOkO

2005-12-24T02:34:00.001-08:00

What Are We Looking At

2005-12-24T02:34:00.000-08:00

Let's Dance

2005-12-24T02:33:00.000-08:00

We Are So Boring

2005-12-24T02:32:00.000-08:00

Supper Break at Mac

Tonite is the "Nite"

2005-12-24T01:36:00.000-08:00

It had been a couple of months since I had updated my blog. I reach home in the early morning and woke up in the noon. Yawnz, guess I had not enough sleep. I guess it had been more than 5 months I had gone clubbing ever since I quit clubbing. Alan ask me one week whether wanted to go China Black one week beforehand. After considered for quite many days, decided to enjoy for that night after the term test. I met up with Alan and his friends. Before entering the black, I saw a few familiar faces walked past us, they are Ann, Cai Wen, etc as others I don’t know their names, who are my juniors from secondary school. Such a coincidence as well as a surprise to witness them here, they should be at home studying as they belong to the group of mummy girls.
We entered the black in an early time where the place was empty. I was watching the NBA game while my friends were talking among themselves. When the dance floor is consider crowded, I had one jug and another glass of alcohol before getting into the dance floor. But the alcohol seemed not to be working. I feel weird, embarrassed and insecure while dancing, just like the feeling it get in the first time I danced. After a while, I started to get use, and started playing punk with my friends. I know a lot of people were looking at us. Ye Wen and Alan are just some great and fun dude, Ye Wen’s girlfriend is interesting and friendly too. We were busily taking pictures while dancing, really having fun. Meanwhile, we saw some babes dancing beside us we met earlier in Hans. But the boring music spoil our mood. We decided to go Mac to have some drinks to ease our thrist. Sitting in the Mac, our attention was caught by a super babe sitting and facing us. On the way to Black, bad luck fall on us, we had to queue up for half an hour before we could get in again. Finally, we get into Black, started dancing immediately as the music get us in the right mood again. Alan saw the babe whom we saw in Mac earlier, I guess he must be having some ass rub with her, but a couple spoiled his mood when they tried squeezing in between them. All the while, we were dancing on the stage. I was dancing crazy like no one business. The most fun part is before we leave the Black where the dance floor was quite empty, we were like dancing like mad and playing a fool. Edmund who was shy and don’t dare to dance in the beginning started dancing as well.
I think clubbing can be fun, but despo = girls and guys spoil my mood. Stopped standing into my way just to rub some ass. Especially a crazy Indian with his friends, rubbing Alan while we stared at him back, nearly getting into a fight and he was trying to rub Ye Wen’s girlfriend too. We just felt like punching him right on the face.
We took the first train on the way home.

A Day for "Shopping"

2005-11-21T21:12:00.000-08:00

I slept for more than 12 hours before I woke up for my school. It was so boring and stupid that I had to go for my one hour lesson, traveled for a long hour and distance to reach my school. To make it worse, Farhan told me that today lesson was cancelled. Since I was already reaching school, I would rather played game there since As I could not play the game at home, no choice but to play in school. I was playing Rakion that I just picked up yesterday. I was like addicted to the game that I almost late for the meeting with Nini. But she ended up coming late than me. She was my one of my best friend that I had not met her for ages. We catches up for our main mission, to shop for her white t-shirt as well as my jacket and bag. We seemed to be shopping for a whole day before we stopped to rest at one of the seat in Paragon. To the coincidence, I saw Fairuz and the others walking pass us, I waved my hand to catch attention from them. Actually I would like to join them, but we already bought the tickets at 9.40pm. Tom Yum Goong was the movie we watched, it was really a nice movie. After the movie, we both went home separately upon reaching back Yishun.

I wonder "Why" ? I wonder How?

2005-11-19T21:08:00.000-08:00

I had a soccer game this morning. I and Chong Yee managed to reach on time but ended up the earliest there. We had to waited for more than an hour before most the players are there. During the first half, we had 2 goals in hand. The opponent insisted the ball had being crossing past the post and managed to grab one goal to save some of their faces.
4-3 marked the end of the match, we were the winning who ended the opponent 40 winning streaks.

At the second half, I had a dilemma of my correct mentality. My mentality is to try my best to get the balls back for the team so I can deliver to the players in front for counter attack. So the option is to either hold the player or to tackle the player, get the ball and delivered. But the second option had caused discontent from my teammate. I now was getting sick of being a defender. A striker or midfield who would lose the ball easily or never grab the opportunity of getting the ball into the net. They always thought they could had lots of opportunity to accomplish their task by adding their goals into the score line. Even they failed to hold the tasks, the teammate would just make some bad comment initially and encouraged them. As long as there is a goal from them, their teammates would forget about their previous errors and praised him.

But if for a defender who was always staying down and sticking to their own boring tasks, stopping and clearing the balls. Even they once make some good saves and clearances, but as long as one of their commit errors had caused a goal. The other teammates would always remember the mistake they made and brought the comments back into future games. Maybe it would depend on who the player, some of the players would always losing the opportunity, commit lots of errors, playing around with the ball and giving balls to the opponent. They might not be the one who get complained but in fact some of the other players who was trying their best in the pitch but just because they were the weakest links in the squad so they received more complaints from the better ones. In fact, the better players maybe could escape from the blame as no one affords to make the comment. But while some of the better players were also the hardworking ones in the pitch. The race or brotherhood in the team may be one of the problems as the players backing each player up when the blame was raised up.

If a player can choose either a attacking or defending players, I sure everyone would choose the first option as they were the one providing goals and receiving better compliments compared to the second option.

Anyway, Fairuz, I never blamed you for today comments. I knew you were the hardworking players who wanted to be the best. I knew what I was doing today but maybe u did not know my real intention. And is my fault to commit errors.
But these comments was also made to other players I been observation in the team for these past few years. Different players being treated differently and playing different position. Some of the players who never possesses the abilities, roles and given tasks for a defender, midfield, and striker was always given that position because of race or brotherhood. It was difficult to go far.

After the game, Chong Yee and I decided to insert coins of $1.30 into the vending machine and made our way into swimming complex. We saw a familiar face there but just a glimpse of eyesight. We were not really swimming but playing with water and gossiping about girls.

"SunBurn" in Sentosa

2005-11-02T21:59:00.000-08:00

Ring! Ring! My cellphone ringing and vibrating loud. It was Yue Chun who called me to wake me up to remind me of our outing at Sentosa later. I reached Harbour Front Station at 10 am sharp. Yue Chun was sitting alone by himself looking bored. He was the earliest as well the only one there waiting too. We both had to wait for the others to meet us. Before taking the bus straight into Sentosa, I have two egg pratas. The bus stopped, and the sign on the board written, “Siloso Beach”. We walked quite a distance before settling on a spot just near the soccer goal pole so we can play some beach soccer for the whole day, put our stuffs and ready for our activities. Yue Chun and I needed to travel quite a distance before we could reach the changing room, but we seemed to have a rotten luck and it was in the progress of cleaning. We waited for a long time before we got frustrated and find any deserted spot and get myself changed. Returning back to our place, we could see the rest were already playing soccer. We joined the rest and got ready for some actions and kicks. Beach Soccer was tougher and life-draining than playing on the normal flatform as the sand was unstable and rougher. The Sun was scorching hot on our skin surface, we had to keep running into the seawater to cool ourselves down. Teams formed by outsiders to challenge us as to kick us out but we still stand mighty and strong on the sand taking any of their challenges.
After being sick of soccer, a group of 5 of us went to have kaya on the sea-water. We were rowing our boat as well as lying restlessly on the boats.
After a long day, our bodies were red and swollen. It had been a long time I was really enjoying myself under the sun.

I Love "Korea"

2005-10-13T05:51:00.000-07:00

It is now 5:30 am, I am still awake.
I had been working with my job. It was quite tough, working in the night and by the time I reached home was already at around 4am. I had the habit of sleeping when they sky was dawn.

It had been a long time since I had watched a movie. I went to Causeway Point to watch two movies together with my friend. The first movie is “Into the Blue”, quite a nice movie. The second movie is “April Snow”, quite a disappointed one. It was like totally no story line, boring with a stupid and lame ending. I did not really understand the whole movie.

The audio being playing in my blog had been changed to a Korean song by the name, “Miss You”. It was the theme song for the drama show, “Stairway to Heaven”.
Although the show was being broadcasted in SCV quite long ago and now being shown in Channel U again. The story in the show was a sad and romantic show, where two couples suffered many setbacks and faced all of them together, the main actor willing to give all his fortunes just to be together with the main actress. In the show, there were two wicked women who were always trying to act like a poor thing in front of people and finally get their punishment in the end as one get jailed while another become insane. But I really was touched by one man who would sacrifice his life for the main actress just for her to be happy and stay healthy. He committed suicide so he could give his eyes balls to the girl who had a tumor in her eyes. As we thought the couple could be finally together, the girl died of a spreading tumor which was developed lately again. The man was alone by himself in the end losing his love one.

Most of the famous Korean dramas were always those sad stories. What attracted people were their scenery and the storylines, while the background music also played a big role in making the scene more touching and realistic.

Watching that show made me think of my vacation in Korea last year as the amusement park i visited during that time was the main place for filming. It was an indoor and outdoor amusement park with nice decor and fun games. It was just like a fairy tales. I really hope to go back there again once more. But my number one country is still Japan.

two "Stitches" on my face

2005-09-30T20:03:00.000-07:00

I had to get up early in the morning to report to work. But misfortune fell on me. After my break, I continued with my job in fourth floor. I had to push the Queen Mary which is a big trolley that used to contain those junks of food. I was pushing fast speed towards my destination without noticing my direction. Suddenly, the trolley stopped and charge towards me. I fall onto the floor by the great force. I was feeling giddy and unconscious in the beginning. I could felt something wet and dripping on my face. There was blood dripping down on the floor. Although my face was covered with strains of blood, I managed to hold myself, walked down to the basement where my office located to inform my boss about the accident. By I was the attraction of the passersby and my boss was stunned when he saw my half of the face covered fresh blood. They wanted to send me to the company clinic. I had to wait for 2 hours before the clinic opened at 3pm. I was brought to the security office to report about the accident and to stop my bleeding. I was sitting on the sofa gazing into the ceilings and remained very quiet.
I went to the canteen lounge, watched a repeat EPL match on Everton against Wigan which coincidentally ended at 3pm.
I walked to the clinic myself, registered to the counter. I was feeling anxious and nervous as the wound was too deep that we could see the bone. I waited for quite sometimes before doctor could observe my wound. He told me that it was better to go for stitches. It was the first time I had stitches. He was holding the needles and threads, trying to sew back my wounds. Pain could be seen on my face when the doctor was putting the needle into my skin and pull the thread tight. The doctor and the nurse was joking and laughing with me. They were feeling weird as I was taking picture of the whole procedures. I was just bearing with it till the whole operation ended.
If I was able to work without the accident, I may have $90 in my pocket right now, but it was at about $15 now.

2005-09-29T22:48:00.000-07:00

Doctor sewing stitches on my wound.

2005-09-29T20:49:00.000-07:00

Deep Cut Wound. Inner Bone can be seen.

not "Banquet" but "Steward"

2005-09-19T16:24:00.000-07:00

On my birthday 17/09, start my first day of work with Chong Yee in our new stewarding job. A sudden call before the night of my birthday from my supervisor marked the first day of our new work. Thanks for my friend who still remembered my birthday who sms me at or in the net.
I was excited as being a steward though I had been working in the same hotel for around 3 years. Chong and I walked into an unfamiliar office, it was not a banquet office this time. We taken our voucher and made a move to the new fashion and locker room. We changed into our new brown uniform, have our dinner in the new canteen. The troublesome thing to have our dinner was that we only could pick few dishes and had to scan our meal card. The food was still about the same awful taste.
Taking the cargo lift to the 4th floor saw the banquet people having their briefing. We were assigned to one station, started our hard day of work. But we seemed to be chatting with the banquet manager, team-leaders, friends that walked past us. We were always explaining the same reason again and again, “We never work in banquet anymore because we want a change of environment”. Being a steward was actually fun and free as we did not need to be restricted by the rules like the banquet. We could keep long hair, wearing earrings and casual shoes.
We were slogging quite hard due to the inefficient of banquet people. Most of them were new to the job and from China. They were very noisy and lazy, every clearing of a dish, they would gathered there, eating the left-over food and drinking soft drinks or wine. While me and Chong were having our fun scolding them and instructing them.

Second day of work, saw a few familiar banquet faces in the canteen. News on us changing from banquet to steward spread fast as all our friends knew about it. During the work, we were busy chatting with banquets friend and housemen as usual. We were busy eating foods provided by our friends. HaHa, I got a chance to eat a whole abalone and some of expensive foods. Yummy.
Though being a steward may be tough and handled a lot of dirty stuffs. But after all, it was quite fun and experiencing.
There are few pictures below taken during work.

2005-09-19T16:06:00.000-07:00

Dreams to be a fireman.

2005-09-19T16:05:00.000-07:00

Gazing on the wall.

2005-09-19T16:04:00.000-07:00

Jing *Chong* Bao Guo.

2005-09-19T16:03:00.000-07:00

What did i saw?.

2005-09-19T16:01:00.000-07:00

Me in Stewarding Uniform.

2005-09-19T12:15:00.000-07:00

TeTsuO & ShOkO

2005-09-19T12:14:00.000-07:00

TeTsuO & ShOkO

I just want to be "happy" everyday

2005-09-14T21:36:00.000-07:00

Now sitting in the desktop, listening to the song, “Hen Xiang Ni” by Z Chen. It was a very meaningful song. It also explain how my mood now. My boss asked me to go back work for both Thursday and Friday. I was trying so hard to forget her because I did not want both of us to get hurt in the end. I wanted to be the one who take the initiative to end these sufferings soon. I was always the one who failed in everything. I really miss her but I did not wan to contact with her anymore. I did want both of us to feel that sad anymore.

"Deep in my heart, I'm suffering, knowing that I've lost you. On the outside, I'm living, pretending that I've forgotten you."

Now I was trying hard to get on with my life. Holiday had started, the time where I would be free and missing her. I was trying to do things that I could forget her.
Though it was difficult, I believe I could forget her.
She did not know what I was thinking, I was always trying to tolerate her stubbornness and temper. I was really tired, I was always trying to make her happy. But all she did was to complain whatever things I done to her just to make her happy.
I think it was time for me to let her go now.
I did not want to let that drag on anymore.
I wanted to find a caring and considerate girl.
And.
I hope she can be happy everyday doing the thing she likes. Having her every freedom she wanted.

I hope this would be a last time I mentioned about her.
I know guys out there who did not regard me as friends would laugh at me and making fun of me. You all guys just did things that u like to do.
I was really tired, I did want to care about anything anymore.
I just want to be happy everyday, I did not want to be moody and sad anymore.
Can u all please give me a break.

Now I wanted to do things I happy, I did not want to be considerate for anyone anymore.

Am I really happy?
Can I really find a better girl than her?
Can I really be happy with my next girl?
The moment I had with a girl was always short and sad.
Is it, I can’t have a happy ending with a girl?

你在那里这些年来如意不如意
还快乐还单纯还美丽时光如何对你

我在这里人海中一座岛屿
很平静风平浪静
只除了深夜里回忆会疯狂来袭

我很想你你知道吗
如果可以就让我再见你
美好微笑清澈眼睛
好确定那场分离只毀了我一个而已

我很想你听见了吗 woo...
这是唯一我无解的困境
那些过去不肯过去
不管我后来遇见多少人
只能叹息都不是你

我在那里你会不会偶尔好奇
有没有曾经怀疑
我说我会忘记只是种好意都不是你我只想爱你

Not a day for a game of "Soccer"

2005-09-04T18:40:00.000-07:00

Now sorting out my files in my portable hard disk. So I decided to update my blog. I had a soccer game yesterday, a poor performance by me that drag the whole team down. Before the end of first half, I had a miscommunication with my teammate that led to a first goal by the opponent. Just a short while after the second half proceed, a sudden pain on my leg, damn… I was having a bad leg cramp that stopped me from playing the rest of the game. It must be a long time since I had exercised, my stamina and performance went down, so had a leg cramp that easily.

I went to have a breakfast with Chong Yee after the game. After that, went into a pet shop, bought a small fish tank with 15 fishes. It was raining heavily at that time, had a hard time going home early to fix my tank. I spend quite a long time putting sandy, fixing filter, grass and some other ornaments. I was like gazing on the fishes in the tank, admiring my own art piece.

I went to Ochard with Alan and Wilson to shop around. Nothing caught my eyes except a cap and a t-shirt after a long day there. I had a lot of caps at home now, guessed that mum must be nagging upon reaching home.

After I reached home, finally had a chat with Jassie in both phone and online. I was relieved and happy that both of us could resolve our misunderstanding. As during this week, I had been moody because of the stress in work and at home. I had spoiled her mood as I was controlling her too much and did not trust her. I felt guilty and sorry, I believed I would give her more freedom and trust her more now. One more week, I could meet her and saying her le.

In the morning, I checked the scores of the teams I bet on. Oh man, I lost $20 in the pool. Most of the games, the score was really unpredictable as weaker teams had the last win. It was really a day that I should not touch on soccer after losing soccer game and bets. For one day, I had spent around $150 bucks and I still had not paid my handphone bills. Guess that I should start saving money now.

Feeling Stress. I want my long "Vacation"

2005-08-31T21:39:00.000-07:00

These few days were really very stressful for me, family and work matters. I really could not stand my neighbour anymore, always finding trouble. One more week to end my attachment, wondered whether it was too fast or slow? Should I extended my contribution in the company or just enjoyed my long vacation.
I was really quite proud of myself that I had stop clubbing, but I might go to clubbing again one day, maybe of some special reason. But I hoped that day would arrive slowly.
Nowday, I really had no much chance to talk in phone with Jassie. She was still busy with her exam, but she promised me that she would accompany me once her exam ended. Hope she would keep her promise.
Although I never talk in phone that late now, there was always something that kept mi to stay awake. I was really feeling tired and stressed.
Maybe it was time for me to did something different from my normal routine and spent my long vacation.

"Cheers"

2005-08-24T10:12:00.000-07:00

Now slacking in a office for a short while, so decided to update my blog. As Jassie complaining to me of updating my blog. Now I had updated my blog, so don’t get angry hor. HaHa. I think I had a good sleep yesterday as I got to sleep early. These few days, might not had the chance to talk with her that much in phone as she was busy coping with upcoming exam. As we never had any good sleep everyday as we had been continuously sleeping at 4am and woke up at 7.30 am. Guess that pig must be still sleeping now. She must be studying hard for all her test. Think our date at this weekend had to postpone to 2 weeks later for the sake of her studies. These few days, she always talking about some weird stuffs that made me angry and confused, wonder what she was really thinking? Is it to stress about her exam?
I should talk about myself now. I just need to bear with three more weeks of my attachment and I could enjoy my holiday. But wondered whether I should extend my days in the company. After completing the first part of my project with the use of Macromedia Director, my workload started to decreased, currently doing some animation for project. But when the second part of it arrived, I would be slogging hard again. Director was still anonymous to me, as I only doing interface by linking them up. The coding was still done by my boss. I had been getting more cheerful and happy since I had knew her, hope this could last forever.

A "Dramatic" First Date

2005-08-21T16:16:00.000-07:00

20/08/2005. First date with Jassie supposed to be a nervous and happy moments, but it turned out dramatic. Jassie was just a normal female friends to me whom we share no secrets. But I could not predict what turned out in the future. The night before the date,
we were chatting in phone till late as usual. Everything went smoothly till the moments of truth finally arrived.
We were trying to identify ourselves through technology of cellphones. As distance between us was drawing nearer, my heart was pounding twice as fast as the normal beats. She was standing quite tall, an average-looking girl, her own sense of wearing which so called street wear. She just special and different from the other normal girl I met. Though my impression on her was not that bad, I couldn’t stop my own nature from being erupting, I was cristising her everything just like the way I did to other girls often.
The words to describe the situation in our first was embarrassment and unfamiliarity. But situation was improving as we were chatting while making our way to Cenileisure to purchase our first ticket of the movie, Maid. We were shopping around at FarEast, her favourite hang out places.
Everything changed as when I was drawing money. I sent her a message saying, “I think you are disappointed with me, if you want, you can home early”. Though she came to me and denied my worries, but my worries still existed. I was kind of feeling tired and keeping yawning, maybe the reason of lack of sleep. In Taka, a sudden phone call from her cousin ruined our first date. She said she had to attend an emergency matter, so had to leave. I thought the main reason for the early departure was the disappointment in me. At that moment, my heart was like hurting and mind was totally in blank. Maybe it never turned out of my expectation. As my normal dates with other girls always went smooth and I seemed to be the one who was find a excuse to leave early.
With the company of my friends who were at Plaza Singapura, I knew I was not alone. Though my heart ached, feeling a great disappointment and embarrassment, I trying to put on an act. I tried sending her a few messages, but none of them came back.
I was holding and staring at my phone tight, hoping one of the messages could come back.
Though I was trying to forget her presence, but it just could not shake out of my mind.
I could felt a sudden vibrate from my phone, it was a message from her. She was apologizing to me, explaining the main reason behind the early departure. I was feeling relieved, but worries still existed.
As I was staying out late, watching the comedy movie, Wedding Crashers, eating supper, sitting down and chatting. I was touched when she was waiting for me to back online and stayed up till 5.am till I finally back home. She was trying to explaining everything to me and misunderstanding was cleared as we thought both of us were disappointed at each other.
Our first date was complicated and disappointed. We promised our second date would turn out well. I was happy that I had found a true friend. Hope we could be friends forever. But we still could not predict our future.

"Yawnz"! Goodnigh! Had an early rest..

2005-08-18T22:50:00.000-07:00

It had been really a long time since I had touch my blog. Fairuz been urging mi to update his new website’s address. Sorry. Guys. I was too either too busy or too slack in work.
I had been seldom online during night time. Though you might see me online the whole day in my workplace, it didn’t mean that I was there chatting away. I might be rushing for my project.

Recently, I had been sleeping very late at around 2-4 am. Every night, I was lying on the bed with my cell phone on my face, chatting in phone with Jassie without fail. haha. I was always falling asleep during work, but no one noticed it. The way to keep me awake was by listening RNB Music which being played in club. But today might have a chance of getting an early rest as she should be sleeping like a pig now.

As usual, I always late for work.
But I really wondered the reason of the boss coming to work so early during these few days.
I was being caught by him red-handed for being late. But I just told him the truth : I was late a lot of times because of overslept. And boss just pardoned me.

I was being unlucky these few days, being unwell for a week. From the starting diahorrea to sore throat, fever, flu and finally cough It had been a long time since I had donated a small amount of money to Singapore pools. Stupid English team got trashed by Denmark. But I was lucky to earn myself an extra pocket money from my previous bets.

I was still thinking whether if I could really quit clubbing. I think I might have already done it. Turning down quite a few offers from my friends and listening to their fun side of their stories and incident when they were there. Though it had really tempted me to club again, I was still able to curfew myself from being staying out late clubbing or etc.

A moment of "Truth"

2005-07-29T11:33:00.000-07:00

Though slacking in office now, but for these past 2 weeks, been really busy working on a mock-up interface for my client, Changi Chapel and Museum. My boss, Bobby decided to let me took in charge of the interface for this project maybe to lessen his workloads. It was a good chance and a challenge for me to prove myself. As I was always doing some dull and simple projects for some corporate or schools.
In the beginning, I thought of using the corporate look for my mock-up, but dropped the idea, decided to use my own creativity to give a different look for the museum as they might accept a different look.
During these few months attachment, I was able to pick up Photoshop and the main concepts for different themes. By using both Photoshop and Firework programs on my mock-up, making use both of their features to the fullest. I was able handed my first mock-up interface to the client last week. Comments and feedbacks were returned back to me this week. Boss said that they were satisfied and happy with my mock-up but wanted some additional stuffs on it.
There were 2 different topics with 2 different interfaces. First one was without much add-on. But the Second one needed quite big changes, so I created a new interface, using old images during Japanese occupation to match the theme the clients wanted. Working slowly on this mock-up for around 2 and half days, volunteering myself to stay back after work for unfinished stuffs. Listening to some of the boss’s comments and advices, working and improving on it to make it perfect. Finally, I was able finished the mock-up by Thursday.
For the moment of truth, we had to wait to be shown to client next week whether any additional stuff had to be added in before we can really started on this project.Though this might seem as a simple mock-up, if the interface and project was totally accepted by the clients. One day my interface will be shown on the display of plasma tv in Changi Museum, used as an act information counter or kiosk

Speaking on behalf of most Juvenile Players

2005-07-22T08:54:00.000-07:00

Speaking on behalf of most Juvenile Players:
Alvin TUA us again by not coming to street soccer again.
Alvin broke his promise again.
Alvin.What was your excuse again?

Rahim said that he fucked Shawal in the past.
Do you believe?

I want to be a "good" boy.

2005-07-15T10:52:00.000-07:00

Now slacking in the office and shaking my leg.. Meantime, I was trying so hard to login to that School Site to select my elective subjects despite many failed attempt of login in.
I was still feeling sick, had a bad sore throat though taking a MC on Tuesday and Wednesday. The problem must be lying on a trip to KBO, eating tidbits, singing and yelling away.
Finally selected the subject, “Introduction to 3D” that I longed to have.
For these few days, i always having a bad digestive system. I must learn to take care of myself, think had to stop clubbing for sometimes as the mood was not there anymore too. I preferred to stay at home rather then stay late outside dancing and clubbing away. It was really a waste of time and money.
HaHa, Maybe I just want to be a good boy.

"Boring" was the only word i could describe now.

2005-07-11T09:38:00.000-07:00

Now sitting on work desk, slacking for about an hour before really getting going back to work seriously. I was really feeling tired and sleepily, gazing at the computer.
After clubbing at Saturday with my groups of friends in China Black, I was kind of getting sick in clubbing. Drinking liquor was totally a waste of money but it was a stimulating me in dancing. To many people, without liquor, they would not go to the dance floor. As I was not good in dancing at all and dancing like a noob or fool. So when I was getting a little drunk, I would not felt that shy and dance all I wanted to just enjoy myself for the night.
At around 5am, we were getting sick of the music, Chong Yee, Bryan and me decided to go to Mac for some supper. We bought 3 meals but ended up eating 2 of them. The reason lied on that Fucker Bryan for trying to be funny. In the spite of anger, I spilt out the coke in my mouth at him. He trying to escape from it but ended up kicking the table. One big cup of coke dropped on the floor and one whole pool of water caught the attention of everyone. Before I could finish half of the burger, the urge of puking suddenly came into my mind. After 3 attempts and 2 false alarm, I finally puked out that pool of disgusting white ppts out.After a rest and feeling a little better. Three of us had the thought of doing some wild things, break dance. Bryan was teaching us a few simple tricks of break dance and we were following his instructions. After a long practice, we finally get the hang of it. As more and more passerby walking past us, it marked the end of a long day.

2005-07-10T05:33:00.001-07:00

Bryan in Action.

2005-07-10T05:33:00.000-07:00

ShOkOklddo in Action.

2005-07-10T05:15:00.000-07:00

Chong Yee in Action

2005-07-10T00:15:00.000-07:00

Bryan Chong ShOkO Fairuz At Black

2005-07-10T00:12:00.000-07:00

ShOkO Fairuz S'GF Shawa Izwanl

Who Are You "PEOPLE"

2005-06-26T02:52:00.000-07:00

Talking about my good brother, Chong Yee. Now he was really fortunate to find himself a good GF. Guess, he still in his honeymoon now.
I wondered why PEOPLE will always say other people GAY when two guys were always very close, like they never really had a good brother or friend before. If those two guys not that close, for what that you all called them brothers? Those two persons were not doing things what gay do, they just going out and looking at girls and get rid of boredom, somemore they were not always alone, sometimes with other friends and girls and you PEOPLE too, just that you all never saw before. The reason they became brothers was that they might share same hobbies, same thoughts and personalities. Maybe PEOPLE were mainly jealous of them that they did not have a good buddy to hang around with or could I said that they were just retarded. I could see the PEOPLE who always scolding gay always hang around with a same group of guys, could I say they were a group of gays, then must be scary, a group of gays. Sometimes PEOLPE think they are smart and cool by making fun of others, instead they were just hurting other feelings and forming a grudge between the two parties.
True friends are not meant to be critised
Sorry if I provoked you because my mood was not really good, just speaking the truth?
Are you those PEOPLE?

True friends are not meant to be insulted or humiliated, the reason they existed were meant to help each other and had a companion in completing a task together.
When friends became no longer together was when one of them pushed themselves to the limit without knowing one’s feeling.

No More "Mr Flirt"

2005-06-26T02:43:00.000-07:00

No more nickname of Mr Flirt for me. The world is changing, so why can’t I changed too. I still trying hard to change myself to be better. I was really quite dumb in the past, steading with a girl whom I know just for 4 days without really getting to know her well. Waiting for a girl who did not deserved your love is a dumbest thing, she might be happy with her partner but you were so sad there. I hate waiting for someone that u love but that someone may not love you anymore. If they were fated to be together, one day they will be together no matter, no use waiting for her and get nothing in the end.

Now I would not allow myself to fall in love with girls that easily till i had really known her well and think she really suited me. I would not kiss with a girl anymore that I did not even knew well. I would not commit myself too fast anymore. Why I really mind so much about one’s look in the past. But even I not looking for pretty girls, I might wanted to have a average looking girls. You could not blame me because all guys wanted at least a average looking girls as a girlfriend.
Today supposed to be clubbing in China Black celebrating Mizi Birthday together with my friends. But I was now sitting at home, online and gazing into the sky. The reason was because I wanted to save money as I owe my parents so much money. Another reason was, is clubbing really that fun? My main motive to go to clubbing is to dance? But to other guys, might be a separate thing, could I say, they went there to look for girls to had some nice activities.
Though I shared the same thought before, but I still dare not tried it out before. Thinking, I still did not ask for any girls’ number in the street before. I think I would not club that often anymore, wanted to save money and be a good boy.

A whole "NEW" me

2005-06-24T10:25:00.000-07:00

Many things happened lately, I decided to stop being a crappy guy anymore, always trying to make people around me happy by doing stupid action or talking craps just to make them laugh. I hate girls who lied to me, so now I don’t really trust girls that much. If you wanted to be my friends, stop being lame and a big liar, if not I would say byebye or don’t even give a damn about you. So one day if you found out that I did not even talk to you or look at you, meant that you were being busted. Especially the lame Rahim, stop being a fucker and lamer. I had enough of you, you better watched out. I would stop being a flirt guy anymore as in the past, I would always hold hand, hug and even kiss with a girl upon our first meeting and seldom contact again. Now I would not do this anymore to any girls till they became my love ones. And i would not show my love to girls anymore till I really found out she really a girl for me. I hate girl who is ah Lian, smoker, kpo, did not trust me, liar, bitch, drinker, always hiding something from me, always like to spent money, clubber, scolding vugalr, flirt and etc….I had to go back to my work now, cause using my first hour of work to slack, later boss came to office, I will die straight.

A "Final" Decision.

2005-06-19T04:35:00.000-07:00

Today, I had enough of thoughts. Lots of advice for me to give up on her. They said that she was not a girl for me, she was not really serious and she was a flirt. From the day I knew her till we became together till we no longer together, I kept my dream alive and never gave up on her. Though after the break, she showed a true form, smoking, scolding vulgar, lots of things that I did not saw in the past. So what I said, a girl will had different true form depending on the role you are to her. But after today, I finally told her friend to tell her it was better for us to be good friends though she once told me we might had a chance to be together again. Though I had changed for her, kicked all the bad habits away and did something for her but we still remained in the same old spot. She really could not make me settled down as she was not as caring and same old self. Everything was changing except my love for her. What was the use of loving her. She was not my ideal girl anymore, our characteristic don’t really click well as well as age gap. Though I made a promise that I would not wait for a girl again last year, but I still held onto her and waited for her return for a couple of weeks. Now in the moment, I did not wan to wait for any girls anymore. Nothing will be paid off for being a faithful and devoted guy.
But me would not be flirt and playing around.
I knew if she still love me, we would be together again. If she don’t, maybe one day a better one would come to me. Sometimes, it was better to be a bad guy rather than Mr Nice Guy.
In the past, I had always look for a girl who was pretty and missed out or hurted a lot of girls who were not good looking in the past. Now I had learnt that as long as a girl character clicked well with mine and love me more, no matter she looked pretty or what, we could be together.

2005-06-19T04:30:00.000-07:00

May Buddha Bless Me

2005-06-19T04:26:00.000-07:00

ShOkO Driving A Small Car With A Lion OnTop

2005-06-19T04:23:00.000-07:00

ShOkO close look with a Lion

"Money Money" Fly away.

2005-06-19T03:59:00.000-07:00

Friday was a busy night for me and a night that made me spent over 80 bucks too. After work, I went straight to find my Yong Liang and the rest in Marina Bay to have our steamboat there. We were taking lot of foods, playing around and talking crap, making a lot of noise. They were annoyed by me when I was playing with the food and mixing a junk of food onto the table. When a male server was asked to change the aluminum foils, I played a fool on him which leaded us to a stare fight. Although finished the dinner, I still did not felt full.
I took a train to Sommerset with them and left them still on the train back to Yishun. I headed to Cenileisure to meet Alan. His cousin was also following him. Then I decided to buy a t-shirt as I feared that my shirts might be stink by the steamboat dinner I ate just now. At that time, it was around 9.45pm and shops were closing. Me and my friends were rushing and looking around for shirts and managed to grab a t-shirt in 77 street though in a rush. Then I met up the rest of my friends, Gary, Guo Wei and Alex. We went into China Black with a ticket bought from NTU bash. As normally, I drank a screwdriver. I bought a jug of Sprite Vodka and drank all by myself and drank a glass of Carlsberg beer. I guess during that time, I was half drunk but still knew what I am doing?
I dared not had any contact with girls as promised someone not to fool around. Most of the time, I was dancing together with Alan, his cousin and Guo Wei as that stupid Gary always disappeared flirting with girls. It was so fun dancing with Alan and the rest. But Alan cousin was always irritated by me as I kept on disturbing her till she had to go home early. We took a cab home at around 3am and i slept at 6am. What a tiring day.

First Expierence In Liquid Room.

2005-06-13T01:38:00.000-07:00

It had been really a long time since I go clubbing again. I promise her not to go club again and ton out late at night but I had my reason this time as to celebrate my friend Shawal Birthday. Happy Birthday to him. Sorry that I had broke my promise, but I only went club if got good reason. It was quite a good experiment to been to Liquid Room as it was my 1st time there. Although it was quite a small place but the interior decorative was quite unique and special, especially the toilet. It was quite fun to have so many friends going there together with many familiar faces and some rare faces were there too. I was already quite drunk before I been to that club as I had my drink at my relative wedding dinner. A coverage charge of $18 with 2 free drink coupons. A great deal was that one for one before the midnight. 2 glasses of lime vodka and red bull vodka each really nearly got me half drunk but I still know what am I doing? The main purpose was to go there and enjoy myself, not the reason of looking for girls. I don care what others thought about me or what they did to other girls. I admitted there were some minor contact with girls but just a short while and nothing serious.
At that time, it was really damn packed inside the dance floor. Everyone were squeezing among each other and dancing. After the club, everyone had been worn out, exhausted and lying on the floor. For me as well felt quite tired, maybe a long time since I clubbed.

What A Boring Life.

2005-06-08T21:51:00.000-07:00

So boring and tired now, everyday seemed to be the same old day. My usual lifestyle had been changed to a dull and restricted style. Everyday almost getting OT till quite late and the worse is that I still never get any extra pay. These few days, my friendly and humorous boss was seemed troubled and moody. And sometimes he can be nasty to us. I had learn quite a lot of from him, no more fanciful design interface, but a neat and tidy interface for our corporate flash page. No choice beacuse our client was a huge company which headquarters was in US. What he say was corporate site could be using Linkin Park type of design. The design he wanted also those simple but tidy arrangement. Although sometimes I did not feel good and happy when my works had been rejected and asked to change by him for couple of times. I was still quite happy and contented with my attachment company though I had to handle quite a lot of projects in the next future. $450 per month salary, how to survive? Hope that the bonus from projects we handle will give me some great amount of cash. Since the first day of work, most of us in the company were influenced by our boss to invest our money in the Singapore Pool Scratch, either $1 or $2 tickets, we always bought a couple of them to test our luck. But my luck was not really good.

Sorry guys, I had no time to play soccer because of my works nowdays, let alone updating my blog. My stamina was really bad now. Anyway Alvin Lim, your wish had been granted this time. I saw the pictures taken in Sentosa in fiaruz site. Why the pictures also got those 3 faces, Imran, Izwan and Rahim. They all look damn skinny in the pictures... Eat more la.

A Whole New "Life"

2005-05-28T23:00:00.000-07:00

Hello friends. It had been a long time since I updated my blog again. Recently, I had been busy with my work. After work, will hang out around for a while. I would reach home and slept early too. Luckily, today Saturday did not had to work as no project to handle. I had waste money again, spending around 100 bucks on my t-shirt, wallet and ear stud. HaHa, I still yet earn money, then spend so much money again. I had been doing well in my company during my SIP. I get along with my boss and supervisor well. They are all friendly and funny. I always play a joke with my 2 supervisor who were once from TP too. I play a fool of their name, physical bodies and etc. But they did not get angry and entertain me. In the company, we were each giving an own desktop. I had always bought my breakfast to the office and eat during working time as our first hour normally was slacking. When our bosses were not around, me and my supervisor were be slacking with msn, surfing net, listening music, eating and chatting away. But we still got did our part in our work while we slacking. Maybe the company was small, that was why the communication and relationship bond between us were closer. Our company was located in a shop houses, something like the Chinatown houses with big windows. Our company was 2 floor. 2nd floor was office and 1st floor was toilet and pantry that could make coffee and a fridge to freeze my mango juice, haha. I was always buying food stuffs, own mug, cold drinks and instant noodles, all being stocked up on my desk for emergency use. Anyway the 1st and 2nd floor was connected by a long spiral staircase. quite cool. isn't it?
In our work, I had to think a lot for my action script and do quite a lot of design interface for our assignment. I also need to call up all secondary school to promote our products and I was really annoyed by these cold calls when especially talking to those teachers who thought highly of themselves. Stupid Ms Lina Soh always never pick up call in staff room, can’t get her.

Let Get The "Party" Started.

2005-05-22T18:36:00.000-07:00

These two weeks, I had been like a clubber, clubbing at sat on last week and both wed and sat on this week. But next week onwards, I may had to concentrates on my work.
Me, Chong Yee, Bryan and the others met together at the Lighthouse 65 to watch the final FA cup. We were betting on Man U and hoped to win some money. We were yelling and drinking during the game. In the end, we lost our bet. How could Scholes missed the penalty? Luckily I just bet 5 dollars unlike the others. After that, left me, Chong and Bran, so we decided to club at China Black.
Ever since I had been steadless, always found myself rotting at home, waiting for people to ask me out. Maybe clubbing was the time that would really helped me pass time and forgetting many unhappy stuffs and could enjoyed that moment. While I was dancing, she suddenly called me out of don’t know what reasons. I rush to the toilet as to had a good and clear conversation with her but she called out of boredom. We hanged up just chatting for a short while. Why? When I was trying so hard to forget one person, she would always stood up in front of me. When I back from dancing, I was just thinking of her and couldn’t shake her out of my mind. I was wondered why so many people called me a flirt or a playboy. I did not have the qualities and requirements of being a playboy. Neither was I handsome nor tall. I was just having a large group of female friends and acting to know them all. That is all. They just did not understand what I was really thinking?
Actually everytime I went to clubbing, I always had the thought of finding a girl and asked for her number. That was what the main purpose for most of the guys who went clubbing. But till now, I still did not have the courage to do it before even in club or in streets. Maybe I just scared of being rejected and did not want to be a despo mentioned in my Blog. Me, Chong and Bryan were having some bets, whoever got a girl number won a drink or some cash. But only Bryan braves enough to do that. He was dancing beside her, dancing like a noob. Chong and I were looking at him and laughing around. After some entertainment from him, the main purpose finally came, he asked for the number and was being rejected. But the girl gave him the MSN address instead. He was really brave and lucky enough to get another way of contact.
That was how our clubbing ended.

One Last Week For Me to "Enjoy"

2005-05-19T08:05:00.000-07:00

Just return home during a long journey from China Black. It may be last time I will be clubbing as my attachment coming soon. Maybe Saturday may be only night I can had fun. Around 12am, I took a cab and met my Tasha Jie whom I just knew not long ago. She was a caring, pretty, straight-forward and thoughtful girl. I met her outside China Black, waiting together with her for more than an hour before her friends arrived. When we are inside the black, I was introduced to her friends but I had forgotten clean about their names. I was getting quite bored as I did not know any of them well. Sha was just like entertaining me all along. She told me that she was really sorry that I was so bored here as she seldom frequent Black, it would be happening if she brought me to devil’s bar. After that, Sha wanted to go home as she found it quite bored. Later on, she asked me wanted to go home together. She kept worrying about me because I told her I wanted to ton in town area till the first train came because of my budget. She thought I was drunk, but actually I was 90% conscious. She keep urging me to take a cab home with her and asked me don worried about the cab fare, but I denied her offer as I did not want to ask a girl to pay during our first meeting. She asked her friends to take care of me when she went back home. But I just went off to the dance floor and had my own fun as I did not wanted to be tied down. To my surprise, Tamizi was there too. HaHa… he was also dancing but on the other side of the stage. I was alone dancing on the stage with my eyes close without looking at the others. It was quite happening on the bar side, as the barman had his upper part naked dancing on the bar table, with 1 malay girl licking his nipples if I never see wrongly. Later on, two Chinese girls were licking away the cream sprayed on the man’s body, putting ices into the man’s pants. They were dancing hot and everyone was having their attention on them. Around 4.45 am, I left the black without saying goodbye to Sha friends as I never saw them. I was loitering around and waiting tirelessly for my train at 6.10 am. Emmm…… It may sounded a boring day but at least I knew the great Tasha and it helps to pass my day too.

2005-05-19T07:36:00.000-07:00

ShOkO Get Thirsty After China Black.

2005-05-19T07:35:00.000-07:00

ShOkO So Bored After China Black.

A "Fun moment", yet An "Angry" moment

2005-05-15T23:28:00.000-07:00

A final return back to China Black since more than one month ago. All right! It has been a long time since I go clubbing with Chong Yee. Together with his friends, we had our fun dancing and playing a fool around. Bryant who is Chong Yee friend, is a crapper and lamer too. Why don’t you ask a girl number yourself, please don involved me next time. I started thinking China Black was not really great, it should named itself Despo Club. The music were not really nice, the people there were mainly despo, nerds as well as pretty girls. There were too many despo around this time compared to my pervious experiences. Why cant you all despo went home and reflected on yourself, cant you see the pretty lady u been following from the right side of dance floor to another side been running away from you all. And you all could still following and disturbing her when she already started staring by her for more than 10 minutes. HaHa! Ended up scolded by and walked away angrily. Another group despo doing the same thing again to her and other girls too. I really could not understand them, I already let you all had the chance of standing beside the girls and you all can’t stop stepping on my shoes or banging me, wanted me to elbowed you and stared at you, then you all would stop doing that. In that night, I could see that out of 50 guys in the dance floor, about 40 of them despite Chinese, Malay or others were asking the girl numbers or getting advantage of the girls.
Man, what is this world? World is really changing.

2005-05-15T23:27:00.000-07:00

TeTsuO & ShOkO Spotted At China Black.

Team Juvenile" proved itself again.

2005-05-15T23:26:00.000-07:00

Another great and remarkable victory win for the Team Juvenile again as it continued to progress. The scores for the first half was 3-0 and 4-0 marked the end of the game. Team Work was the key for the success of winning. Finally Team Juvenile possessed passing, assisting, crossing, defending, attacking and scoring. But it still needed to be improved as the opponent was not really that strong. Man of the match was the Lucky Mango. HaHa. They were the Future National Player, Mud and Attacking Right Back, Imran. Rahim, you should seeked some advices from Imran on how to be a good right back. Alvin and Fairuz continued doing great job in attacking as well as defending in the centre mid. Shawal was once again pressured by his teammates for his early crosses into the penalty box despite of wasting time doing his tricks.

"Boredom" really Sucks.

2005-05-12T03:10:00.000-07:00

Life is so boring recently. I was still waiting for my attachment. I had forget about the last incident I mentioned here. In my shoutbox, I could see a lot of unknown people as well as my friends sharing their thoughts. In your life, you could meet a lot of people, some were worth to be your friends while some were just don;t deserved for you to call them friends. When you were down, it may be the right time for you to know whether those friends were really your true friends or just ….. Friends were supposed to care, concern and respect each other, learned when to behave in the right time. I really appreciated those friends of mine who were sacrificed their time and energy to me when I need help in either my personal or school life. Sometimes, the characteristics u had may not just applied to the mind of others and characteristics you did not had may just formed in their mind. Maybe u were hiding your true feelings or they just did not understand you well enough. Actually I had no idea of what to write? Just mainly writing rubbish.

One Last Time For Me To Call You "Bao Bei" Again.

2005-05-09T23:23:00.000-07:00

09/05, at around 4pm, it marked the end of the FairyTale I had created with my Bao Bei during these 15 days. Everyone must be thinking that I am lying and laughing around and making fun of the name again. But what I said was all truth. To me, I also could not face the fact of losing her. I sat in a corner in Far East for an hour, thinking of what went wrong? I knew that is was part of my fault that I had hurt her so much. I did something foolish by taking a bus back to her house nearby bus stop and took another bus back to Yishun. All these were routine that me and her always did when I was sending her home from Far East. I just wanted to do it one last time as to keep it as the last memory between me and her. But the entire atmosphere were different from the usual, I felt so lonely in the bus as she was always by my side. But this time, I only can see part of her shadow in my memory. I knew that is was part of my fault that I had hurt her so much. During this long journey, I thought and reflect on myself. I regretted what I had done and I knew it was impossible for us to be together again. I decided to change to a person she wanted mi to be so as to be worth to be her friends instead of her bf. I did not wish to hold a girl who did trusted me at all or had given up on me. I did not wished to repeat another mistake again by waiting for another girl who don deserved my love anymore. Before the day we stead till now, she still thinking I was toying with her all the while, but I really love her. Thank You So Much For What You Had Done To Me During These 15 Days. Hope you could find your happiness.

My First Time for my "Ear".

2005-05-07T03:01:00.000-07:00

Today finally I could go out with my Bao Bei again. As usual, we meet at AMK before we set our destination to Far East. During the journey in the bus, I saw her ears with many earrings on different locations of the ear. I told her that I had the idea of piercing my ear hole in the past but I dropped the idea because of my parents as well as my courage too. Upon hearing that, she asked mi to give it a try. I rejected her offer at first but looking at her disappointed face, I built up my courage, went into the shop and go for my first try in my life. Though it may sound lame and stupid to others but in fact to me, it was not because of my traditional culture of my family. Choosing the right earrings, the next job is to get the gun ready and shot it right down on my ear. Every second seemed to be long and unbearable, the moment it started shooting down, I shivered and started praying hard. After the job was done, I found that it was not really pain and scary. Chey! It was just so simple and easy, all my worries and fright were just extra.

2005-05-07T03:00:00.000-07:00

ShOkO Latest Pic on His Ear.

2005-05-07T02:56:00.000-07:00

ShOkO wants to Lick Bao Bei.

"SIP" Company Information.

2005-05-05T13:54:00.000-07:00

Company Name:
M-Fusion Pte Ltd
__________________________________________

Company Address:
17B Blair Road
__________________________________________

Working Day:
5-1/2 days
__________________________________________

Weekday working hours:
From: 9am To: 6pm
__________________________________________

Weekend working hours:
From: 9am To: 12.30pm
__________________________________________

Project Title/ Dept Name:
Multimedia Development
__________________________________________

Task:
To develop Interactive in Macromedia Flash
__________________________________________

Required Skill Set:
Active Server Pages (ASP)
MS Access Databases
Visual Basic
Web Authoring/Director/Flash
__________________________________________

Other Requirement:
Preferably one female and one male.
Need to have prior Flash Skills and also action script in Flash
__________________________________________

"Relieved" or "Stressful" ?

2005-05-05T13:21:00.000-07:00

Finally, the company I will be attached during my SIP was finally revealed. It was M-Fusion Pte Ltd. My task is to develop Interactive in Macromedia Flash. I was not sure whether to felt relieved or stressful, Flash may seemed to be a simple task to me, but if needed to be use together with Action Script, it may be a big problem to me as I not good in programming. As I also needed to require some skills: Active Server Pages (ASP), MS Access Databases, Visual Basic and Web Authoring/Director/Flash. I did not know whether I will be up to my task and able to cope with it during my SIP. What am I going to do? The worse thing was that I had a 5 and ½ working days, so I had to come back to work at Saturday too. Means that there would be less leisure times for me. Still wondering how much will my salary be?

"9th" Day.

2005-05-04T23:51:00.000-07:00

Today is the 9th day I had stead with my bao bei. We were getting along fine and loving each more with each passing days. Every friends of mine were always mentioning this word in their mouth, “Bao Bei”. Though I thought that they were irritating and immature, but they could be quite some fun at sometimes. Sorry that I had take a long time to update my blog as my elder brother who had come back to Singapore from Brunei keep taking up the comp and I was unable to use the comp at all. Rahim! Rahim! You were not a good “Right Back” as u looked more like a striker to me on the incident at the soccer game during last Sunday. Where got right back more upfront than a striker? The last goal from our opponent was your mistake due by letting your dear friend scored by heading in the ball into the net without guarding him. Our performance was better than the pervious match as we able to have a fluent game with good passing and clearance and scoring of goals. Danial, a silly guy who went to pick up his towel without noticing the ball passing back to him from Fairuz. You still dared to say you are John Terry again, I will whack your ass when u mention his name again. Anyway for your info. The score is 3-2 and we won. To keep my blog short, I end it here.

2005-05-01T23:55:00.000-07:00

ShOkO and Bao Bei MuAckz MuAckz.

Birth of my "Bao Bei"

2005-04-25T18:00:00.000-07:00

25/04/2005, 4.50pm was the most important day of my life. It was the day that I had found my happiness since 05/04/2002. I thought I would not accept any girl anymore till I found her. And Sandy was the one who melted my frozen heart, one that I cant stop thinking of her. Though we had known each other for a short time of about 4 days, but we got along very well. I don’t know why I had the courage to reveal my hidden feelings towards her as I had never did that to other girls. When she had also revealed her feelings towards mi too, we both felt relieved and confidence that we would be together. She is a cute, adorable, pretty, devoted and serious girl. Though I made a promise I will not break with her, but who knew of the outcome in future. From now on, I just wanted to cherish every moments of us being together and made her the happiest girl.

2005-04-25T17:00:00.000-07:00

ShOkO and Bao Bei at Day3.

"Rahim" Your wish had been granted.

2005-04-25T14:20:00.000-07:00

Getting myself up from my bed, the first thing I did is I walked to my computer and start using it. It had been a long time i had last updated my blog. Yesterday saw Rahim who keep on pressing my for the update of my blog. 3 days ago, 22 of April till the morning 23 of April had quite a fun time. During afternoon, I went to meet my friend Xiao Zhu who is a pretty and cute girl with her own style the first time at Bishan, had my lunch there, went to catch a movie, Coach Carter. It was a nice movie talking about the teenagers in a American school which had only 16% of the students able to enter into college. The other students were either were dead, in jail or having a poor income job. The Coach named Carter who was once a student of that school wanted to change the fate of his basketball members. By asking them to sign a contract before they could get into the team. They were a lot of argument from community and students spreading around at first. In the end, all of them meet their requirements and start playing their basketball and won all their games unlike in the past records under the head coach. Though they lose the championship in the national division, but they all had a good prospect in their future.

"10th" Clubbing Expierences in Clubber's Life.

2005-04-25T14:18:00.000-07:00

After that, I headed back Yishun to meet my bunch of friends as well as my soccer teammates. Our main motive was to celebrate Izwan’s birthday. Anyway Happy Birthday! Izwan. I reached Yishun at around 6.30pm, loitering around the area first. We were supposed to meet at 7.45pm and our final destination was Zouk. But due to most of them were very late and the departing time was at around 9.30pm, our final destination was changed to Cheeky Monkey as for money-wsie. We were lucky that we went in at a coverage charge of $10 each with 2 jugs of drinks. I really had a fun time there with my fun-loving bunch of friends as the music were nicer and better compared to Black but the people, atmosphere and capacity in Black were much better. It was also the first time I went clubbing with fairuz who only a newbie to club. He danced quite well and seems to enjoy himself but think he would be having a hard time to adapt to his daily life after that night, must had some muscle and neck pain. HaHa! Around 3 a.m we headed back to Yishun by Night Rider. Everyone were seemed exhausted and were sleeping or chatting in the bus. As usual, we were having our supper at 925 coffee shop and began chatting away. Almost all of us were having hard boiled eggs and counting the time of eggs boiled and comparing whose egg was the best. Then later on, we were sharing ghost story and life experiences and further on, we touched on to Dreams. Dreams that left a deep impressions in our minds and the controlling of our dreams.

FaIrUz And ShOkO Outside "Cheeky Monkey"

2005-04-25T14:10:00.000-07:00

FaIrUz And ShOkO Outside Cheeky Monkey.

ShOkO Outside "Cheeky Monkey".

2005-04-25T14:09:00.000-07:00

ShOkO Outside Cheeky Monkey.

What A "Rotten" Luck.

2005-04-16T02:05:00.000-07:00

Another sad and moody day for me again! Girls are nothing but trouble, like to make a fuss of it, and just could not understand them. I had wasted another 30 bucks again in the bbq and the taxi fares back home. I know I was already that broke, did not have enough cash to go to bbq. But knowing that the bbq was kind of celebrating my friend’s birthday and some other reasons that I could not reject the inviation, I had to take out some cash from my private savings and spent it on the bbq. I knew i must earn it back before my parents would soon make a fuss of it upon knowing it. Everything now needs money, really can’t survive without it. Man! Where can I find the money for my personal expenses, really having a headache now. I did not have a fun time there just now though most of the faces were familiar and they were fun-loving people. We planned to spend overnight there, but I could see most of them planning to go home early which were just left few of us staying there. I know that there was no point staying there and had to spend another 15 bucks for the taxi fares beside for the bbq. What a rotten luck for me today, had spent money thought my hand was tight. Lucky I went home together with obrin and saved me quite a few bucks on the fares as Obrin pay $10 and for mi was $11. I wondered if there was another bbq again, would I just reject the invitation straight away.

What a "Boring" day!

2005-04-09T00:58:00.000-07:00

Yawnz! I am so tired and bored now after returning back home. This morning had a soccer match against some strangers. Due to lack of sleep, it really made me felt more tired and lifeless during the game. During the first half of game, we had a tough time coping with the limited size of the field and our opponent, everyone seemed to be cramped up together in that small field and unable to do the things right, confusion and miscommunications were spreading among us. I had made a lot of mistakes which may leaded to the failure of our team. The score for the first half is 1-1. But I think I had done better during the second half of the game, able to tackle the opponents efficiently and assist my teammates well due to sheer luck. The final score is 4-3, we won by a small margin. I think that some of our opponents really had a bad temper and no sportsmanship. After the game, I and Chong Yee went to orchard and had no life there, playing lan game had our dinner there, sitting and waiting around. It is damn bored as we had to wait for about 2 hours for our turn to play lan game. We actually wanted to sing KTV, but think is a waste of money too than lan game. We walked around in the building of cenileisure doing a lot of stupid things including looking at girls, walking around in the same area for many times. We saw quite a lot of Ang mo babes as well as Korean babes too. Finally was our turn to play lan game, I playing Winning Eleven 8 against Chong Yee and I lost quite a lot of times to him. Lastly, i had proven myself in a shoting game when i won multiple times. Today Shawal they all going China Black, but too bad i not going today and why their timing always don't clicked together with me? Whenever we wanted to go clubbing, they will not free, den when is their turn, we also couldn't able to make it. So that is basically how I spent my day today.

A Day We Got Really "CRAZY".

2005-04-04T02:29:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time since I and Jeff go clubbing again. Yesterday at 03/04, we went to club at China Black, we actually had asked a lot of friends to join us but none of them are available. Before going clubbing, we went to lucky plaza to have a game of pool. We had to do something we hate and that is queuing up before we could entered into China Black. We started drinking our free drinks once we get inside. After a while, we found one corner and started drinking a jug of liquor we had ordered. When we had finished the jug, we secretly took out a small bottle of BACARDI and pour all into the empty jug which contains full of ice. Before we could wait for half of the ices to melt as to mix proportionally with the BACARDI, we decided to finish it off fast and went for our dance. We were half drunk at that time while we were dancing. We saw lots of nerds in the dance floor dancing and we couldn’t stop laughing at them. We were shocked that quite a few nerds actually walked to the girls and introduced themselves and start dancing with them. Man! Nerds nowadays had changed, they are daring and despo now. At that time, we nearly laugh out our tears. Dancing for about 2 hours, we decided to go to the stage to had our dance there. I know I danced funny and weird but who cared if one wants to enjoy himself even though a lot of people are watching at him. Dancing on the stage for about one hour, few babes come up the stage and they cause some problems to us. To Jeff, the long hair of the girls kept blowing towards his face. And to me, they keep moving towards me and I nearly fall down from the stage as to avoid contacting them. At about 3.30am, we were really getting tired and bored as the music became sucks. We decided to leave the Black and take a rest outside. We had a seat outside the MacDonald, bought our supper, chatting away while enjoying our supper. In the meanwhile, the babes who had saw on the stage earlier on sat beside us and having their supper there too. But we ignored them and continuing our chat. While we were on the way back to MRT Station to catch the first train, we got mad and started doing some crazy things on the flat ground along the tunnel. Even we were inside the MRT, we did not leak off the chance. You can saw the “CRAZY” things we did from the pictures below. When I reached home, I think my body could hardly move due to the activities in China Black and the stunts I did earlier on. Today was really a great and fun day.

2005-04-04T01:37:00.000-07:00

Jeff Looking Tired and Bored.

2005-04-04T01:35:00.000-07:00

DayDreaming Away After Coming Out From China Black.

2005-04-04T00:50:00.000-07:00

Jeff & ShOkO In The Mirror

2005-04-04T00:49:00.000-07:00

ShOkO In Action 5

2005-04-04T00:46:00.001-07:00

ShOkO In Action 4

2005-04-04T00:46:00.000-07:00

ShOkO In Action 3

2005-04-04T00:45:00.001-07:00

ShOkO In Action 2

2005-04-04T00:45:00.000-07:00

ShOkO In Action 1

2005-04-04T00:44:00.000-07:00

Jeff In Action 5

2005-04-04T00:42:00.000-07:00

Jeff In Action 4

2005-04-04T00:41:00.000-07:00

Jeff In Action 3

2005-04-04T00:40:00.000-07:00

Jeff In Action 2

2005-04-04T00:39:00.000-07:00

Jeff In Action 1

FINALLY! It Is "OVER"

2005-03-26T23:50:00.000-08:00

Horray! Finally all my exam is over. The subject PAWN(Private Area Wireless Network) marks the end of the paper. Yesterday night, been trying so hard to memorise those long texts and codes for this paper, never sleep for one whole night, trying to keep myself awake to study them. Finally, my work had pay hard, think I am able to pass the paper. Now, is time for HOLIDAY and FUN. But without money, how to enjoy ? I think I must get a job fast, but it so difficult to get a job that suit me nowday.

May "GOD" bless me!

2005-03-23T12:29:00.000-08:00

Mostly completed in my revision on my ORDS exam, not sure whether I could pass the exam. Only left the theory part to memorise, but not sure whether can remember it by heart as my brain had already been occupied by thousands of texts and formulas. But I had know myself trying my best, at least spend hours and hours studying all the topics and all the rest depend on the luck, whether it is easy or difficult, or the questions that come out almost the same as what I study. I should get prepared to go out now. May god bless me!

Gaining A New "Expierence"

2005-03-17T16:37:00.000-08:00

About 12.30 am, met my friend in msn. Chatting about the daily life. Then she told me she going clubbing later. I decicded to join them. Taking a cab together there, wonder where they were going? The taxi stopped, the sign in front me reads, "Angel Reborn". The music there are all techno, just wanted to see how techno was like. But this curiousity About 12.30 am, saw my friend in msn. Chatting about things in our daily life. Then she told me she going clubbing later with her friends. I decided to join them. Taking a cab together there, wonder where they were going? The taxi stopped, the sign in front of me reads, "Angel Reborn". The music there are all techno, just wanted to see how techno was like. But this curiosity really pays a high price to me. When I entered inside, it actually played a few rnb music. In the dance floor, I can saw that the people there danced differently from where I saw in other club I normally went before. They don’t look like they can dance rnb, maybe just waiting interested and waiting for their favorite techno music. Finally when techno music was being played, everyone got crazy and shouted those beng languages while they dance. It was really new to me, they all seems weird, dance in front of the mirror, playing with their hands. But I cant say techno really that bad, the music and atmosphere was not bad, maybe just don’t suits me. I could see my friends enjoying themselves in their dance while I stand by the side like a status, listening to the music. I ordered a “Chivas Water” and it taste like water and asked the bartender to put in more liquor to make some taste. Luckily the club close at about 2.45 am. As I thought it was finally over as we would be going home, but went to a pool center in East Coast Park. I had a game and sitting down watching the soccer matche between Newcastle and Olympiakos. We all stayed there from about 3.30am till 6.30am. Though I felt bored and tired, but no choice but to stay on. After the pool games, I thought I can go home, my friend asked me to go to a coffee shop in Bedok. I did not talk to my friend as well as her friends, just sited there quietly alone. They were shouting and making lots of sound that attracted the people within our area. I just hoped to go home fast, and finally my dream was granted. But In the TPE, there was an accident causing a big jam, we were all tired waiting in the taxi, hoping to reach home fast. About 9am, I reached home and finished an unforgettful journey.

难到"缘分"已经来临了。

2005-03-16T22:28:00.000-08:00

Recently, a lot of incidents happened. Watching a movie with a friend in Sun Plaza and saw another friend of mine, T while window shopping around before the movie began. T asked me whether if she can join me and my friend for a movie. And we end up watching the movie, “Boogeyman” together. A girl on my left, T on my right, I had a fun time scaring them as they keep screaming. I don’t find the movie scary but exciting. The next day, I and T meet out again. That day seems to be long, we had a lunch together and went to a park, taking a stroll, recalling about the past and went home after that. The next day, she asked mi for stead. My response was shocked, I did not know what to do or say? And we decided to remain as friends first before making a quick decision. Yesterday I go out with B, we were singing ktv, had a great fun, talking everything under the sun and we get along very well. But think that is impossible for B and I to be together. Why? When I decided to forget about her and decided to find another new settlement, I thought the journey would take mi a long time, but it doesn’t seem so now. 缘分是一种奇妙的东西，当你需要它的时候，它死都不肯来，而当你不需要它时，它却不请自来。When I don need it, it just comes. What should I do? Yet, I feel that I let Y down, she is always there for me when I need someone to talk, because I do mind about girl’s look and how people think of my gf, so I never choose her even though I got some feelings for her. Though I always make some bad remarks about her, she never stops staying by my side and tolerates me. How I hope I am just a guy with a simple mind, so I won’t get hurt or hurt others.

I am "Back"

2005-03-14T00:40:00.000-08:00

I had stop writing my blog for a long time since I had been rushing for all my projects last week. Finally it is over now, but still had the exams for next week. But think going to relax for quite some time before I can settle down and study for my exams. Everyone been complaining to me about the Chinese poems I posted in blog as they don understand Chinese. Haha! Sorry dudes. Those poems were just written by me in the past, suddenly I just brought out again and recorrected the errors there. Some of my non-Chinese friends ask a Chinese friend to convert into English for them but it can seem to be weird and funny because of difference of languages. Recently, I got quite a lot of activities happening on around me, been watching movies with friends and doing things that I had not done for a long time. She was already a past and I wanted to forget her and kick her out of my life. She was just a nightmare to me, a girl who would ruin my life if I continued to be with her. Now everything is going on fine, I continue to live a new lifestyle, still learning to be a better guy and be myself. I will fight back if I supposed to, ignore the negative remarks on me or improve on it.

爱的寺。"等待缘分"

2005-03-14T00:22:00.000-08:00

虽然我与你在人群中插身而过，但我并没感应或注意到你的存在，难道缘分还未来临，我们行走同样的小巷，趁踏同样的地铁，爬上同样的天桥，经过同样的花园，仍缘分还未来临，难道是老天在我们身上开了一个天大的玩笑，我们也许在爱情中承受过同样的痛苦，被爱情遗忘过，因此不敢再尝试爱情，选择了孤单地走过下半生，难道是老天在考验我们，所以当缘分真的来临时，我们会更懂得珍惜对方，了解对方，体谅对方，爱护对方，尊重对方，让我们能天长地久地深爱着对方，而一同走过人生的另一段里程。